portlandia. nostalgia. funny things. anything i find interesting. and personal posts.
my dad was taking me driving and after i parked i got out and checked then shouted “IM STRAIGHT-well at least my parking job is” and my dad slams his hand onto the dashboard and goes “YOU COULDNT HAVE WAITED UNTIL COLLEGE TO MAKE THAT JOKE NOW I OWE YOUR MOM TEN BUCKS I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD ADMIT IT YET” so thats the story of how my parents have been betting on when id come out
please stop reblogging this my dad thinks hes cool now
(via razui)@3 days ago with 251775 notes
what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please
I just spit out my coffee
You’re supposed to swallow it
(via bretticus2424)@1 day ago with 130004 notes